Monday, April 8, 2013

30 Day Challenge

Day 3 - Your Idea Of the Perfect First Date

Thinking about Dating is a scary idea for me. I am actually in a position where if I wanted to I could start dating again. I don't think I am ready to do such a thing but this question has got me thinking. My idea of what a perfect first date back when I was single and dating to my idea now as a widow has changed significantly.  

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It's been a good 10ish years since I was dating. Things have changed a lot since then. I am a Mum now, I don't have a 20 year old body anymore and my responsibilities are way bigger. Not to mention the way things have changed socially.

This question, as simple as it sounds, is incredibly frightening for me!!

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What would my perfect first date be now? If there was a guy out there wanting to date me (hahahahahahaha) what would I write so he would take me on the date of my life?
To me a first date (not that I can really remember what dating was like!) is a time to get to know and find out if you like this person. You would want to go somewhere where you can talk and have fun and find out about each other.  But here I am assuming that you don't know the person you are going on a date with. How different would it be to go on a first date with someone you already know?

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gees who knew this question was going to be so hard to answer!

Maybe it's because I can't see myself dating at all yet. Maybe it's because I'm not ready to think about having another relationship. 

I have thought about this subject before. The subject of what happens now for me regarding men.  I know women who are older now who were widowed young with small children just like me. One if them never remarried or dated again. One remarried to someone she had known before and had more children with him. One has been married and widowed 3 times.  I have often thought who will I be? What does the future hold for me and my love life?

I am very lucky to have found someone who loved me as much as I loved him. I know there are many people who never find that person. I got 8 amazing years with my love, some people go their whole lives never knowing that kind of love. So should I even consider the subject of dating. Am I being selfish if I think I deserve to find a new special someone?

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Am I happy on my own?
The answer to that is no, but a new man isn't going to fix why I am not happy right now. I am unhappy because I am still grieving what I lost. I am still grieving the life that should have been. So I am definitely not ready to consider dating. I am still finding out who I am after losing Jason. I am not the same person I was and I need to discover myself before i can even begin to think about someone else .. if I ever do.

Gee whiskers! This kinda went off topic!! Sorry about that!

So how about you tell me what YOUR perfect first date would be since I couldn't!

1 comment:

Neetz said...

No mate.. that made PERFECT sense. Far out, what a hard situation to be in.

I think (and who the heck am I anyway)... that you just live your life... do the whole grief thing as you need to, as is reasonable for you, (not anyone else). That may take 5, 10, 15 years or actually may continue even if you do have another relationship... I think though that you just live your life. IIIIFFFF another someone special comes along, and things progress, then that is awesome! And I think if that person is the RIGHT person, they will totally understand your situation, and support you totally through that, and won't be threatened by your love/grief of Jason... but accept it and nurture you... (that's what I'd hope anyway). I think its great that you are even thinking about such things, because YOU have to live too, and from what I know of your awesome husband, I bet he'd wish for someone brilliant for you, if he couldn't be here for you. You're an awesome chick, and I think some dude out there will be so very lucky/blessed to have you when you are ready, and have healed a bit. ((huge hugs)) xxx