Sub Categories and Linkies

So here I am ready to start my first new official blog post and I don't know where to begin!! I have sooo many ideas for topics and they are racing around in my head!

Image By Awesome-Kathi @ Deviant Art

So I was thinking that until I catch up I'll break it down into 5 categories and then I thought hey why not start up some crazy linkies and then I can find out who does what I do and I can start following their blogs too! So although I know this is going to start off slow I am going to start up some weekly blog posts and linkies.

1: Pimp My House

This is where I am going to be telling you about all the house renovations/decor I have done/doing/going to do! And OMGoodness I absolutely want to see what you guys are doing because I NEED all the ideas and tips I can get, maybe we can all help each other, start a support group called "I can't stop renovating my house"

2: I {Heart} Being a Mum

I am, like a million other mothers out there, overwhelmed with my job as a mother. I sometimes suck and I make major mistakes and I have regrets, but without a doubt I love my kids unconditionally. They are my whole world. This is where I'll talk about my kids and my life as a mother who juggles 500 hats just like every other mother I know. I'm not perfect but I am a FANTASTIC mother to my kids. Yep and I want you to all feel the same way about yourselves so this is where I want YOU to celebrate how awesome YOU are as a mother too!

3: Heading Off The Grid

I have future plans of living in the middle of nowhere as self-sufficiently as possible only doing the things I love and the things I need to live.  I am becoming more passionate in wanting a cleaner life for me and my family. I want to share my journey with you in this dream. If you are living this lifestyle or trying to I absolutely want to know about it all!!! I'm new at this and I absolutely want to learn as much as I can. I also really want to start being so much more environmentally friendly and start trying harder to make my families Eco Footprint much much smaller.

4: Crafting Keeps Me Sane

I started this blog as a craft blog, it has evolved into more than I could have imagined, but I am still a passionate crafter. So please as I share mine I want to see yours too! Any kind of crafting counts I don't mind, I just love seeing people making things with their own hands!!

5: Free to be Me

Life has changed for me a lot over the last 6 years and I have changed in many ways, I've made life choices that were great and some not so much, I have experienced a whole lot of new challenges and obstacles that I have worked my way through.  I have grown and I feel like I'm in a good place in my life right now. This is where I will share my life journey in finding out who I am as a person, take away the mother label and who am I? Lets find out together!! And please share with me who you are too!

I'm really looking forward to getting back in the blogging world and sharing and learning with the blogging community again.
Please if you stop by make a comment, even if it's only a 'HI' I'd love to be able to repay the visit and get to know you too, if you have blogs or otherwise.

So thanks for coming along for the ride!! I hope you enjoy it as much as I hope to!

The Ultimate Search

I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the last few weeks. Contemplating life and what it means.
There are massive questions about God and what happens to us after we die etc etc etc, But I am not talking about that kind of meaning of life. (You can read about my feelings about that HERE)

What I am talking about is Love.

Why are we here?
I believe we are here because of love.

Without love what are we?
Love creates life.
Love turns people into new people.
Love makes people Happy, Sad, Angry, Desperate.

Why when love can be SO painful do we continue to crave it?

I have been in love. I know how AMAZING it can be. When you have real love, love where the other person loves you as much as you love them, it is the most beautiful and amazing thing in the world.

Love isn't just between a man and a woman.
I love my children unconditionally. They are my world. They in turn love me unconditionally.
If only we could all love the way children do, it would be a much better place to live in.

Everything is geared up with love as a focus. TV, Movies, Songs, Books - pretty much ALL based around a love story. We are absolutely swamped with it, and I guess that is why we become so obsessed with it.

Girls give away their bodies searching, boys do stupid things to try to impress while searching. We feel incomplete without a relationship. But at what cost? How many people settle for less just because they are too afraid to be alone?

Why do I feel like I am a slave to love. I am desperate to find someone to share my life with, but why?
Am I afraid to be alone?
Why do I feel like I need a partner to complete me?
Is it because Jason left such a gaping hole in my life I am trying to fill it?

I think it is because I knew true, amazing, pure love and I know how spectacular that is. I desperately want that feeling in my life again. That feeling of happiness, security, stability, bliss.

Don't get me wrong, Jason was by far not perfect, and neither was our relationship. We saw each others imperfections but loved each other anyway. We worked through our issues and came to compromises and conclusions rather than giving up at the first sign of trouble. That is what real love should be like. Hold no grudges, work through issues, forget about the past.

The thing is though, we are never going to find love when and how we want to. Love is not going to solve all our problems or make us happy. Love is not going to fix our problems or get us a better job.
The truth is no one else can make you happy. No one else can make changes in your life to make your life better. Love can certainly enhance your life but not fix it.

The only person who can make you happy is YOU. Unless you love yourself and are happy within yourself you can't make the changes you need to make your life better for you then no one else is going to be able to help you.

I've taken the last almost 5yrs to get to know the unmarried me. It took me 4yrs to be ready to even begin to look for a new relationship. I have learnt a lot over the last year of dating. I have been knocked down a couple times but I have come back stronger and wiser and more ready than ever.
I know what I want, Now the tick is to find him!!!

2015

Wow, last year I blogged 6 times.
I figured I might be over the blogging thing, that I might not need it anymore, that I have nothing else to share.

It's only 4 days into 2015 and it's already being a tough one.

Last year a met a wonderful man. We dated, he moved in, we fell in love. We went through some good and not so good stuff together and then a week after Christmas, quite unexpectedly to me, he ended it.

I'm not angry.

I am sad and upset and confused.

I will be ok. I know that because I got through losing Jason, and honestly this is nothing compared to that. But it still hurts. A lot.

It kind of brings me to what I want to talk about.

It took me 4 years to start dating after Jason died. WOW what an unexpected emotional roller coaster it has been.
I have been on a few dates with a few different guys.
I have dated a couple for a while.
I fell in love even.

But Jason was still always on my mind. And the feelings of guilt and betrayal were hard things to overcome. But I worked through them. And yes, sadly, the relationship I thought might be the next "one" didn't turn out to be but as I sit here feeling sorry for myself and wondering what I did wrong, I also think "wow" look how far I have come. Look at what I have overcome to get to this stage and place in my life.

I have this flaw, and it's that I care too much too quickly. You see I have had my husband, my Grandmother and my Father all die quickly and unexpectedly in the last 4 1/2 years.  It kind of reiterates to me that Life is short. You need to grab the bull by the horns and ride it. You have NO idea what is going to happen tomorrow. Yeah I suppose that this philosophy may have caused me too much hurt, but in amongst the hurt was experience, fun, happiness. I learnt a lot from my last relationship. I had experiences I have never had before and as much as it hurts like heck right now I have no regrets. Maybe, if there is a next time, I will have learnt enough to make a better, stronger, more amazing relationship with someone.

Really at the end of the day it will be better to say "OMG what a knob I was for doing that" than having to say "I really wish I had of given that a go"

Go check out this AMAZING blog - Bone Marrow For Life. 
Raymond lost his Love to Cancer. Such a horrible disease, He was one of the rocks in my life when my Jason died. (read about that HERE) I read his blog and I smile because I know that yes he is in pain and yes life sucks but he is going to be ok.
Someone else who has the same philosophy as me - I love his catch phrase ....

Live a life you are proud of.

Be Better. Love Better.

So I challenge you in 2015 to step out of your comfort zone and LIVE!!! Challenge yourself, do the things you always wished you could do. Don't wait until tomorrow because tomorrow might just not happen.

Tell the people who you love that you love them, spend time on things you are passionate about and most of all MAKE NO EXCUSES!!!!

30 Day Challenge

Day 17 - How You Hope Your Future Will Be Like

The future is something that I have avoided thinking about in depth. Thinking about the future makes me need to address things that I am not ready to think about.

I hope that in the future I am happy again. I hope that I find out who I am. I hope my children grow to be responsible adults, and that they are truly happy. 

I hope that my store is busy and successful. I hope that it makes enough money to support my family.

I hope that in the future I have every room in my house renovated how it is in my head right now. That the kids have an awesome place to bring their friends home to.

I hope that I get to spend loads of time with my friends. I really hope that my friends who are so important to me now are still big parts of my life. 

I hope that I get to visit my family in America and Australia. I hope that I get to see where Jason has been laid to rest.

I have a lot of goals to work towards. Here's hoping I can look back on this post one day and think "Wow! Look how much I have achieved!!"