I have never been interested in fashion or makeup. Even in my teens-twenties when I was doing the clubbing/dancing/dating scene I only ever wore lipstick and mascara and only worn what I loved and felt comfortable in. I've never paid much attention to anything involving fashion or makeup and I certainly haven't ever followed any trends or paid much attention to what was the 'thing' of the moment. And I've been fine with all that, until my daughter started growing up.
Today The Man and I were bored and were watching YouTube videos. It's crazy how you can start watching "true facts about the sloth" and end up with "celebrities who look unrecognisable without their makeup". I was absolutely appalled at the narrator's comments on this video. Actresses who were caught out doing their shopping or taking their dogs for walks without makeup and the comments went along the lines of "look at those wrinkles and crows feet" "gosh she really looks her age" "Gosh she's certainly let herself go"
Let Herself Go
What does that mean? That when women don't wear makeup they are ugly? That our natural faces are hideous? That getting wrinkles and looking the age you are is a terrible terrible thing? No wonder we have so many women with terrible self esteem issues. We are basically told we are ugly and have to cover ourselves up everyday. I am disgusted in the expectations of women in society. Who the bloody hell came up with the idea that a woman has to cover up her face with makeup to become beautiful? Why do we need to change our appearance to walk out into the world? I think it's really sad that I have known people who can not leave the house without putting their face on. What has society done to us to make us feel we have to cover our natural faces with paint?
I do not ever want my girl to grow up feeling like if she doesn't cover up her face and wear the right clothes she won't be accepted, she isn't good enough, pretty enough, cool enough. My daughter has a beautiful face, she has these gorgeous dimples which just make me smile, her freckles across the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks are super adorable and her sparkling blue eyes shine. It would be a crime to put anything over her gorgeous face. However, my daughter is NOT like me. She cares about fashion (her own style anyway!), she wants to wear makeup, she loves jewelry. And I am happy with that, I don't have an issue with it, but I don't want her to feel like she HAS to be fashionable and wear makeup and jewelry to be accepted.
My daughter loves shorts, short shorts. And lately I have been watching her legs seem to get longer and longer and she is starting to look like a young lady instead of a little girl. The Man and I had an interesting conversation the other week and I am completely conflicted.
I said to him "those shorts are pretty short, when does it become inappropriate for her to wear such short shorts?"
And this made me think Heck, what did I just say?
I want my daughter to be her own person. I want her to wear the clothes that make her feel good, confident and comfortable. She loves shorts. She's happy in shorts. She's really sporty and physical so shorts are comfortable when she is running, swinging and climbing trees, but here's the conflict. There are many males out there that see a female as a sexual object, especially judged by what they wear. So I am incredibly conflicted by both wanting my daughter to be able to be herself as well as trying to protect my daughter from the perverts out there who seem to think because a girl is wearing clothes that don't cover up all their skin that they can use her for their own pleasure. So what do I do?!?!
I've never been more confused, and terrified as the thought of having to negotiate the upcoming stages my kids are going to go through. It gets so so much harder the older they get! And not just for girls either, but that's another blog post!
So what do I do?
I guess I teach my daughter to appreciate her natural beauty, to be confident within her self and to not care about what others think and do what makes her happy. As for my son I teach him to respect women and not treat them as objects and to appreciate them as they are. And I guess I hope for the best that more parents are teaching their kids the same things.
Gosh just when you think you've got the hang of the parenting thing nature throws in another curve ball called puberty!!
So what do you do? I'd love to have any advice or feedback!
Otherwise thanks for reading my little vent!