I haven't talked or shared much about what is happening at my house due to a secret sorta project that I am hoping to share with you soon.
I am right in the middle of major house renovations.
I have builders here re-doing my two bathrooms, and they are also fixing some major leaking issues.
I am in the process of re-decorating the kids bedrooms and playroom, actually I am slowly getting around the whole house room by room.
The house is CHAOS and that is me being polite. When I am in the crazed decorating mode that is pretty much all I do for days. I make sure the kids are fed and that they have clean clothes and that is it, my housework is neglected and the place becomes a mess.
Last weekend I spent 4 straight days working on my daughters bedroom. Sanding walls, filling holes, painting, wallpapering, putting up curtain rails and curtains, it was a massive weekend.
It's hard, really hard. I am here on my own doing everything by myself. My Mum is amazing, she helps out a lot. She is my mentor and motivator. But otherwise I am on my own.
I have a lot to do.
I am a solo-Mum, a cat owner, a cook, cleaner, housekeeper, shop-owner, renovator, scout & pippins volunteer, taxi, school volunteer, shopper, crafter, I'm sure I have forgotten other things.
It's crazy that I do ALL that and I still look around my house and feel like I am failing because the place is a mess.
Why is it I put so much pressure on myself to have everything perfect and to do so much with my day?
Why do I feel guilty every time I put my feet up and watch TV?
Where does the expectation come from?
I feel like I need to sit back and look at what I HAVE achieved rather than the things I haven't managed to do. I NEED to take time out for myself and my kids.
And as read others blogs and facebook status updates and talk to friends I realise I am NOT the only one who struggles to keep my house in order, and lots of those people aren't doing it on their own.
I need to be more proud of what I am doing and stop trying to live up to impossible expectations.
Food For Thought really.