This year is the first year Abbey has really noticed the fact that she doesn't have a Dad.
She was only 2 when her Daddy died. She doesn't remember him.
Abbey on the Day her Daddy died
The first thing that triggered this for Abbey was having a Dad's night at Pippins. She told her leaders that her Dad died so she didn't have a Dad. They said that she could bring her Grandad or big brother or someone else if she wanted.
My Dad stepped up and went with Abbey to Pippins, she was the only one there who didn't have a Dad. She really noticed that.
She has been drawing a lot of pictures of her and her Daddy holding hands, she has written a few letters to her Daddy and he is the constant topic of conversation for her at the moment. For the first time I think she is finally realising what it all means.
And of course it breaks my heart.
I am a good Mum and I do all I can for my kids but I can not be a Dad.
I wish I could make this right and fix it for her but all I can do is be here for her to answer her questions and let her know how much her Daddy loved, adored and cherished her.
Life is really hard some days, especially when it is hard for your kids.