Thursday, September 1, 2011

Happy First Day of Spring!!



Today is the official first day of Spring here in the Southern Hemisphere. Spring is my favourite season. I LOVE spring flowers, the sun coming back from it's holiday in the North and it just seems to produce good feelings all around.

Spring is the season for new beginnings and I am taking that to heart this year.

Tomorrow is the day I get the keys to the very first house I own. That is exciting. I have decided that Moving into this house is going to be a fresh new start for me and my kids. A brand new chapter in a brand new book.

It's hard to be doing this without Jason. 16mths have gone by and the wound in my heart is still raw and incredibly painful. I miss him terribly. But I have decided that this new house brings us hope and I am determined to begin living my life again.

This is a huge and difficult step for me to make. Taking the first major life step without him in it. And as much as he is going to be a continuous part of our every day lives, it is time for me to stop living in the past. I need to stop with the "If Jason was still here" and the 'If Only ..." "What if ..." and "why?" Jason was, is and ALWAYS will be a part of our lives. But the hard reality is he is never coming back. Dead sadly is forever. And until I let go of my fantasy of him suddenly turning up on the doorstep I can not ever move forward and begin to live. So I am making that decision to take my first step forward. It will be a baby step but a step nonetheless.

So Spring 2011 marks the start of an incredible journey for me. Things will still be hard. I will still cry and grieve and miss my husband. I will still find it difficult to do many things without him. But the difference will be I am also going to be giving myself permission to be happy, to smile, to laugh and to have fun, all guilt free. Because it would be what Jason would want for me, for us as a family.

So HAPPY First Day of Spring!! And to New Beginnings!

15 comments:

jacksta said...

you are beautiful and inspire me so much. Will be walking with you in your new journey.
xx

Stace said...

We feel the same about spring Tracy almost word for word lol, I feel good reading this post you no that all over good feeling you get sometimes?? I think this is a step in the right direction for you, and your right the harsh reality is deas is forever. But your living and its awesome to see you doing so, one small step at a time, kia kaha my friend xxxx Heres to spring and new beginnings xx

Rachel Kate said...

Beautiful post. So hard yet you inspire so many people. All the best for your new life xo

Meghan at MNM's said...

This is such a moving post Tracy. Your journey is inspiring many others. All the best for this new chapter in your lives :-)

PipStarRose said...

xo

That'll do said...

Yay for Spring! Yay for a new house! May the big move be injury-free ;)

Nic said...

love your attitude!! love YOU! ♥

Sima J said...

Naww go you .. YAY for spring and new beginnings .. I'm sure you will always have Jase with you and YES he WOULD have wanted you go have FUN and enjoy the new house :-) luv ya! xoxo (can't wait to see the inside instead of just staring at the outside every time I drive past! ;-)

Cat said...

loads of love xx

PaisleyJade said...

Beautiful post Trace. He would totally want you to be happy and have fun with your children. Excited about the adventure ahead. xoxo

mandyb said...

IM EXCITED FOR YOU!!!
i cant wait to see what you do with this house!!!! i wish i had my own house!!!
happy spring to you too xxxx
(and all the best for the move!!!)

tallshortandtiny said...

Beautiful post. You are so brave and inspiring. All the best for the move to your new home, and for one-step-at-a-time new beginnings :)

intermittentblogger said...

Congratulations on your new home! You will fill it with love and beautiful memories with your children - and Jason will be there with you in spirit. Thinking of you and wishing you strength as you take these first steps.

Jaz from Treacy Travels said...

I have only just started reading your blog, but I'm truly inspired. I love your blog. I love that despite the horrible year you have had you can still find some happiness in life. Best wishes for your next steps in your journey. Take care of you and those lovely kids x

Better Scrapbooking Ltd said...

To new beginnings Tracy, I wish you all the best with your move and a great life with your precious children.
What an inspiring post, thanks for sharing your struggles and victories, you are an inspiration.