Thursday, September 9, 2010

Getting on & Off Horses ...

the last 4 months of my life have been the worst I have EVER experienced. I lost my husband, my ENTIRE life changed. We moved house, cities, schools. I have to go to bed alone every night and wake up alone every morning. Jason was my rock and he was my comfort in times of sorrow and to have him not here when I am the sadest I have ever been is hard, very hard. In all honesty I wish I could stay in bed forever, never get up and just sleep the rest of my life away but I have this one thing that keeps me getting up every morning and that's my two adorable Children. There are days I sure wish they weren't here, days I just want them to go away so I can give in to my grief and curl up in a ball, but there are also the days where I am so incredibly glad they are here and I can't get enough of them. Crafting has not been a priority to me but I have done some. I have bursts of enthusiasim and go crazy like when I totally revamped my craft space into and orange and white theme. but then, like this week, I can't even be enthused to write a word let alone do a LO!
But as they say once you fall off you need to get back on that horse so I am trying. I have arranged a Beginners Scrapbookers Class at the local Community College here which will be run in November, I have submitted a few more LOs to the Up2Scrap magazine and I have started my Wedding album. I am slowly trying to get back on that horse but it's going to be a long and slow process, this is not something I can just get over and move on from, this is something that will live with me forever. I love him so much and miss him just as much.

Here are a few of the LO's I have done over the last couple months .....

This was the first LO I did after Jason's death, I felt the need to scrap this, and I will be doing a whole album of photos from the funeral, since the media was involved I have alot, I think it will help me heal and will also be a great resource for my kids as they get older. You can read the journalling HERE

After Jason died I emailed a couple of Professional photographers which we had photos taken asking if it was possible to get more copies, I was totally intending to purchase these copies. Positve/Negative Photography had done Family photos through my work for us for the last 3 years in a row and I was completely blown away when they sent me a dic free of charge of the last 3 years of Pics, I cannot thank them enough! These are some of the pics that were on the disc. Not my favourite LO. This was the first time I've ever used mesh as an embelishment.

These pictures were taken Halloween 2009, they are some of my favourite of Jason & Abbey. The pic of Jase looking at the camera and smiling was the one we cropped and released to the media. I hope that through my scrapbooking I can let my children know how much their Daddy loved them.

Sorry about the awful photos of some of these LOs, the lighting in my new house is simply AWFUL!!!

One of My new Favourite paper lines Kasier Craft Hey Birdy Collection and of course my favourite girl!!!

November 08 - July 09 Jase was away in America, while he was away I decided when we were together as a family again we needed more photos of US as a family as well as US as a couple, so one day I decided to do a little photo shoot, Jase held the camera (cause his arm was longer) and we took a few pics of just the two of us. I am so very very thankful for these photos.

This LO was for a Fiskateers Challenge ... guessed what the challenge was???? ORANGE of course!!

Some more of the 'Photo Shoot' Pics ... This was a little mini challenge from Danice & Nic if i remember rightly the requirements were:
*something metal
*a colour in the title
*2 patterned papers

Another mini challenge from friends Janine & Ruth, and I hope they have done theirs!!
*2 photos
*aqua/teal colour

Again not one of my favourites .. I really struggle with boy LOs ... Tips PLEASE!!!
But useing my new Little Yellow Bicycle Generation Z kits kindly sent to me from Kelly-Jo over at Fiskateers

Another Little Yellow Bicycle Fresh Print Clothesline kit .. I LOVE scrapping girl LOs!!! Too easy!

That isn't everything as I have submitted quite a few of my pages so can't show you ... I have more stuff to update but will leave it here for today! getting back onto that horse slowly!


PaisleyJade said...

Beautiful scrapping Tracy - you have such a gift, and now I can see why your work is even more precious.

Still thinking of you often - what a hard road you are walking... but so thankful for your precious kids to keep you going.


Jenny said...

Go you! You are a very strong lady - keep scrapping

rosegarden - Laura Fiskateer 5939 said...

Tracy - You are in my and all your fellow Fiskateers hearts. Sending you strength to face each day and may sunshine fall upon you today and that you know God's grace. Fiskahugs.

Anonymous said...

love all these layouts....they are stunning.... especially loving the ones of you and jase!! lovely idea to capture those moments!!!!

**sending huge cyber hugs**
maablaa from tmmb