Grief

Before losing Jason I have never really experienced death.

My Grandad died when I was 12years old. He was only 69. But the thing with Grandparents is that they are supposed to die. It's the natural order of things.

ALL death is sad and hard to go through. When people get old they are supposed to die. It is sad of course for those that are left behind because we miss those people. And those people will always leave a hole in our lives but death at the end of a long life is normal. It is the natural order of things. It's what is to be expected.

Jason, however, was totally unexpected. It was if he was ripped out of our lives. One morning he was there, that same afternoon he was not.

I miss him terribly. I wish he was here every second of every day. I grieve for him.

Lately I have been constantly organising the shop and keeping VERY busy. But now that part is over I have time to sit and think. The distraction is gone and I am not sure if I thought there would be a difference but now I am sitting here alone, wishing my husband was here. Nothing has changed. I am still a grieving widow.

I grieve that he isn't here with me. But more than anything I grieve for what SHOULD have been. I have lost the future I was planning. I wont get to grow old with Jason. My children won't get to grow up with the love, support and guidance from their Dad. Abbey wont get to have her Dad walk her down the aisle at her wedding. Riley won't get to have his Dad guide him through the trials of puberty.

I miss Jason terribly and yes I grieve his death, but more than anything I grieve the life that should have been with him. I grieve all that he is missing out, all that the kids are missing out and all that I am missing out. Life is all about finding that someone you love and living the rest of your lives together.

EVERYTHING is aimed in that direction. movies, tv, books. I found my love, I married him, I had two beautiful children with him and before we even had a chance to even really start a life together he was taken away. I grieve for that.

I try so very hard to be positive and embrace the good things that surround me. But some days I can't help but grieve for what I have lost and for what should have been.

Grand Opening!!

Wow! What an exciting weekend!!! 

I am EXHAUSTED! But it was a fantastic weekend. I had so many people come through the new shop. I had so much positive feedback I was blown away!

I am soooo pleased that the weekend went so well and now here's hoping things look up from here!!

Just thought I'd share a few pics

I can't believe the transformation!!!

So if you are local come on in and visit me at the shop!!!

Long Overdue Post

Where did July go? 

I can't believe it is August and I also can't believe that in one week I will be opening the doors of The Scrap Heap store!

Who knew waaayyyy back in 2008 when I started this blog, that I would be making a real Scrap Heap. One that you can go inside of LOL

I have been sooo busy. Building, sanding, painting, carpeting ... soo many things I never ever thought I would do. And with only a week to go before I open the door to the public I am somewhat in panic mode!! I still have building and painting to do. I still have organising and sorting to do! And then there is unpacking ALL the wonderful goodies I have to sell!

I have had a few pull my hair out frustrations happen this last week to do with lovely goodies. Firstly an order was placed wrong and instead of getting 3 of everything, like I ordered, I only got one. So I have re-ordered but because it's coming from the USA  I am really not sure that they will arrive by the weekend! Frustrating!! My big stamp order has pretty much been back ordered except for one stamp! Thankfully the company has assured me that my order should be here this week, fingers crossed. Plus another BIG order which has all my inks plus a heap of other stuff has been held back because of an issue at the bank. Four times I have put the money through three times it has bounced back into my account. I have spent quite a bit of time on the phone to the bank and no one can find a reason why this is happening. Problem is my order won't be sent until it has been paid, and well it seems the bank isn't letting me pay it!! aaarrrrggghhh!!! Fingers crossed this 4th time finally works and my order gets here in time! But yes the frustrations of opening a shop!!

But even if that stuff doesn't arrive on time I still have loads of wonderful products which I am DYING to unpack onto all my shelves!! That is the part of setting up that I am looking forward to the most!

So one more week to go!! I will do a big post after the opening with lots of photos and stuff but I figured I better check in just to let you know I am still here!

Don't forget to go check out my website and sign up for my newsletter!! And also go like my Facebook page!!

Wish me luck and I look forward to sharing my Grand Opening soon!!