30 Day Challenge

Day 25 - Who Are You?

I am Tracy. 

I used to know who I was. I am on a journey to find out who I am now. There have been many major changes in my life I have roles I never used to have before.

Everyone has titles. I have always been a Daughter, a Sister, a Cousin, a Niece, a Friend, a Grand Daughter.

I met Jason and became a Wife, a Mum, a Soul-Mate

Jason died and I got new titles. Widow & Solo-Mum

I am still figuring out what this means. I am still figuring out who I am now without Jason. It is going to be a long process of "finding myself" But almost 3 years after Jase's death I am ready to begin that journey. 

A Journey of self-discovery. A journey of self-worth. A Journey I anticipate to be hard, painful, scary and worth it all.

A Journey to find out Who I am.

I am Tracy.

30 Day Challenge

Day 24 - A Photo of Something That Means A Lot To You

A while ago I mentioned to the beautiful Cat, from Catalina's Cottage, that I admired her beautiful charm. The next thing I know Cat and a few of my other precious friends, Leonie (Kiwi At Heart), Marie and Nicola, had shared in the cost and bought me this gorgeous bracelet. 

I am blown away by the generosity and love I receive from my friends. 

This bracelet means so much to me. It reminds me of the silver linings. I lost my Husband. So like the saying said I had to use my Brave wings and fly without him. But every dark cloud comes with a silver lining. My silver lining has come in the form of friendship. I lost my husband but I have gained so many amazing and beautiful friends. I am blessed.

30 Day Challenge

Day 23 - 15 Facts About You

Fact #1

I own 3 cats. One old girl Phoebe and a brother & sister pair of kittens that the kids got for Christmas. Twinkles & Comet.

They ALL sleep on my bed. They take up HEAPS of room. I am now getting the nickname of Crazy Cat Lady

Fact #2

I am obsessed with the colour orange. I am slowly turning my entire house orange. I love it!!

Fact #3

I go to prison every year.

Hehehe

May 16th was the day Jason died. We go to Springhill Corrections Facility every year on the anniversary of his death (that is where it happened) to visit his memorial garden. We have no grave site to visit (he was buried in his home country America) so we visit his garden instead. 

Fact #4

I have a fascination with the supernatural, mainly vampires. I Love books, movies, TV shows that have these themes. Not sure why but I love them!

Fact #5

I am the youngest of 3, and the only girl. Growing up with two big brothers has it's good and bad aspects. I didn't get picked on too much at school because everyone was afraid of my big brothers, but my big brothers picked on me!! I turned out a bit of a tomboy. I always wished for a sister.

But I love my brothers, they are pretty alright!

Fact #6

My Dad is a paraplegic. He had a work accident 16 years ago. He's still awesome though! Even if he can be a bit of a grump!! My Dad knows so much about EVERYTHING. You wanna know something, go ask my Dad. He is a vault of information!

Fact #7

My Favourite flower is the Gerbera, orange is of course my favourite coloured ones!  I had a bouquet of white gerberas for my wedding and the girls had red ones. I have a couple of orange ones in my garden too. Love them!

Fact #8

I am a Early Childcare Education Teacher by trade. I started out as a nanny and then went into ECE. I did this up until Jason died (with breaks in between being a stay-at-home Mum) so it was about 15 years. I don't have the passion for ECE like I did before I had my own children. I would prefer not to go back to work in that field but it is nice to know I have a fallback career if I need it.

Fact #9

I have only ever been overseas once. Jase and I went to America back when Riley was only 1 1/2 years old. I was newly pregnant with Abbey at the time so I guess she came too! I had such a great time! We spent a month there visiting with his family and travelling around a bit. We went to New York and Washington DC. Jase also took me on a tour of many of the places that were important to him when he was growing up, schools, old houses etc. It was such a great trip. 

Top of the Empire State Building NYC

Fact #10

I have sleeping issues. Ever since Jason died. So for the last 3 years I have had a bit off an insomnia issue. To begin with it was the dreams, I was afraid to go to sleep because as soon as I closed my eyes a little movie would start in my head of watching him die, or seeing him in his casket. I found if I stayed awake for as long as possible when I was so tired I couldn't stay awake any longer I wouldn't dream when I fell asleep. I don't have the dreams like I used to but I think I have just got into a really bad sleeping pattern which is pretty hard to kick.

Fact #11

I have a coke addiction

Coca Cola that is!! It has to be coke, not pepsi or any other brand. I get headaches if I don't drink it, pretty bad I know! But hey it's better than smoking or alcohol right?!?!

Fact #12

I have a foot thing. I can't stand going to bed without washing my feet. This is the main reason I am a night time shower person. I remember back in my night clubbing days, crawling home at 4 or 5 am and washing my feet before stumbling into bed. Everyone has a little bit of crazy .....

Fact #13

I am an asthmatic and I am violently allergic to dust mites and grass. All 3 of those things are connected as my asthma gets worse when my allergies are triggered. I have had these issues my whole life. Luckily I haven't been in hospital because of it since I was a kid. Through medication I have my issues under control. But it is still a pain to have to be on medication ALL the time.

Fact #14

I have been on TV for two different reasons. Of course there was a lot of media coverage surrounding Jason's death so that was one.

While my Dad was in the Spinal Rehabilitation Unit after his accident he was featured on the hospital show Middlemore. I was briefly in that too.

Fact #15

I lived in the same house from when I was born until I was 18. I still drive by that house every now and again just to see how it's changed on the outside. Once it was for sale and I took Jason through the open home to show him the house I grew up in! It was a pretty cool house in a pretty cool street and pretty cool neighbourhood.

I love google maps!!!

30 Day Challenge

Day 22 - A Letter to Someone Who Has Hurt You Recently

Hmmmmm

I can only really think of one person who has hurt me and to be honest I'm not really sure I have the words to write that letter. That person is the man who killed my husband.

I guess I am pretty lucky that I am not really someone to hold a grudge. I have a bunch of amazing friends and I can't imagine them hurting me.

I am blessed

30 Day Challenge

Day 21 - A Photo of Something That Makes You Happy

These two adorable children.

Enough said!

30 Day Challenge

Day 20 - The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

Interesting question!!!

Well I started blogging waaayyyyyy back in 2008. To begin with I wanted to blog to share my crafts. It has turned into way more than just sharing my crafts!

Anyway getting a bit off topic ...

I am a scrapbooker. I am messy. My desk always looked like a heap of junk! Mix the two together and you get The Scrap Heap. And Inside the Scrap Heap just meant coming into my scrappy heap of crafts! 

30 Day Challenge

Day 19 - A Picture Of Something You Want To Do Before You Die

I have a couple of things that I would want to do.

#1 - Go On A Cruise Ship Holiday

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to go on a cruise ship. I have no idea what the appeal is. I have no idea why I am so enamoured by them. I don't even care where the cruise is to!! I just really want to go on one!!

#2 - See The Egyptian Pyramids 

Something else I have had a fascination with for as long as I can remember are the pyramids. I love egyptian mythology and history. It totally fascinates me. To see these big boys for real would be awesome!

30 Day Challenge

Day 18 - 5 Things That Irritate Me About The Opposite/Same Sex

click for source

Things that Irritate Me About Men

1: Smells -  ok so men stink. They fart worse, they burp worse, they have worse BO. They just smell. And many of them don't seem to care about smelling either.

2: Googly Eyes - Men's obsession with a woman's body. I hate that so many men automatically scan the boob and the butt area. I would prefer if a man looked at my face when he was talking to me. 

3:  Pride/Stubbornness - I do not need instructions, maps or help with ANYTHING

4:  Peeing - Just because a man has the ability to pee anywhere standing up in relative privacy doesn't mean he has to. Bathrooms were invented for a reason. Oh and while we are on the subject of bathrooms, please aim for IN the bowl and put the seat down afterwards!

5: Grunting - Having a conversational vocabulary that begins and ends with SportsCenter. 

Things that Irritate Me About Women

1: Bitchiness - Lets face it, it's rare to get a bunch of women together for extended periods of time without having the bitchiness. I have worked in a female heavy job for all of my working life and there is always a certain amount of bitchiness at different periods.

2: Judgemental - Women can be terribly judgemental. Judging others clothes and look. What they drive, where they live. I have absolutely been guilty of this, but it irritates the heck outta me.

3: Gossiping - I HATE gossiping. It reminds me of the media, everything taken out of context. I am not saying I am perfect and don't gossip myself, but some women take gossip to a whole new level.

4: Image - Some women are obsessed with their image. Women who can't leave the house without makeup, go to extreme lengths to make sure they have the perfect clothes. Spend hours in the bathroom making sure they look perfect just to pick the kids up from school. Annoying!

5: Moods - Yes I know that for many of us it honestly is PMS and really not something we can control, but irrational mood swings are irritating, and my own irritate me. I hate being so hormonal and emotional ALL the time. 

30 Day Challenge

Day 17 - How You Hope Your Future Will Be Like

The future is something that I have avoided thinking about in depth. Thinking about the future makes me need to address things that I am not ready to think about.

I hope that in the future I am happy again. I hope that I find out who I am. I hope my children grow to be responsible adults, and that they are truly happy. 

I hope that my store is busy and successful. I hope that it makes enough money to support my family.

I hope that in the future I have every room in my house renovated how it is in my head right now. That the kids have an awesome place to bring their friends home to.

I hope that I get to spend loads of time with my friends. I really hope that my friends who are so important to me now are still big parts of my life. 

I hope that I get to visit my family in America and Australia. I hope that I get to see where Jason has been laid to rest.

I have a lot of goals to work towards. Here's hoping I can look back on this post one day and think "Wow! Look how much I have achieved!!" 

30 Day Challenge

Day 16 - Short Term Goals For This Month And Why

April.  What are my Short Term goals this month?

Clothes - To step out of the box and wear clothes that make me feel good. Stop wearing so many slob clothes to try to stop being a slob!!

Renovations - To get the painting started in Riley's Room makeover, it has taken WAY too long to get to the stage where it is at now. It is finally after several months ready to sand. Poor Riley is stuck in the junk room until it's done. I want him to have his room back.

Shop - I want to get more organised with planning my classes. I would be very happy if I could have a whole term schedule for classes.

Family/Friends - We are going on Holiday which is why family & friends is together! I am having a family holiday to see my friends. I want to do more fun stuff with my kids.

I think that is enough goals for the month!