Sunday, January 13, 2013

My Relationship with Facebook

When I first signed up for a Facebook account back in August 2007 (Thanks FB timeline!) I had no idea how much a massive part of my life it would become.

I love the social media part of it. If not for Facebook I wouldn't have re-connected and re-kindled with old friends or be able to keep as up to date with overseas and out of town family members.

Before Jase died we both were on Facebook. It was cute to send little notes to each other, he'd often embarrass me with his status updates, but I would be on once or twice a day and that was pretty much it.

Facebook for me when Jason died was a LIFESAVER.
95% of our friends found out about his death on the 6 o'clock news and my phone after 6pm went crazy. I went onto Facebook and said ...

Tracy Palmer
16 May 2010
Thanks to all your well wishes, prayers and thoughts. I am not taking any calls at present but feel free to txt or message me here .. I cannot begin to describe how my world is tumbling down right now Love to you all
The phone calls stopped but the messages on Facebook came pouring in. Every night before I went to bed I would sit down and read every single message. Sometimes I would say stuff, sometimes not. It was wonderful to be able to hear from all my friends, know that they were all with me in spirit without actually having to talk to anyone. I am forever grateful for all the messages and support via Facebook from my friends and family.

I now find I am on Facebook ALL the time. I am checking in several times a day. I am updating with things I wouldn't have before.

I sat down and thought about it one day. Why do I have to be on here all the time. Why can't I just be satisfied to turn the darn thing off?
And I came to the realisation that Facebook is my Jason substitute. My Adult company. My sounding board.

When Jason was around he was here to make comments about TV shows with, he was here to small talk with or have deep and meaningful conversations with. He was my sounding board, I would throw ideas with him, share silly things the kids had done with him and tell him all my thoughts. I don't have anyone here to do that with any more so I turn to Facebook. I have friends who take over that role now. They give me feedback, advice, comfort, assurance and even knock the sense into me sometimes. They share my children's achievements and silliness. The good and bad times. And when I think about it like that I don't feel so bad about checking in so often. I don't feel so bad sharing as much as I do. I don't feel like it is taking over my life, it's just a part of it.

I am on the Internet way too much, I totally know that. But coming to an understanding of why I am is the first step in finding a balance.

I'll never give it up, or take a massive break (unless I'm away) I owe way too much to the computer. I met some of my best friends via the Internet, heck I met my husband online! Some of these friends I talk to every single day, and they live in different towns to me. I love sharing my life with them and I love them sharing their lives with me.

In the long run Facebook makes me feel less alone.


Leonie said...

This is an awesome post Tracy. I use Facebook a lot too, to keep in touch with all my friends and family in NZ. As much bad press as it gets, it is a great social media tool.

Unknown said...

make no apologies Tracey, we all do what we have to to get through x
I enjoy your status updates :) keep em coming!

Devour the words said...

I'm the same Tracy.

With no other adults in the house it is often lonely. I don't have someone to talk to.

Sometimes I can go days with out any other adults around just me and the kids.

I am lonely.
Soooo I FB.. lol

And its not from a lack of friends. It is just that they are all married and at home with their husbands when not working etc.

I think it is good to be aware of how much time you spend online. And its not good if you turn down real people time for online time. BUT when its just you at home... GO FOR IT.. lol

Cat said...

Great post on the positives of social networking xxx
I've taken a wee step back but I'm still here and there

mandyb said...

great post...i am the same
living alone i like the company in the evenings!!

and the laughs
and the chats
and the friends i have made!!!

ps that cartoon is the besT!!!

Miriam said...

What a great and honest post Tracy. I am online more than I need to be but I'm not on FB. This is easily the best argument I've seen for it. Good for you for making it what you need it to be xx

Jenny said...

You have written what I feel too