the reason why we scrap ......

To preserve our precious memories ... gone but NEVER forgotten RIP my love xxx

Upside Down

Shit like this does not happen to ordinary people. I mean we are boring. This is the kind of stuff that you read about in the newspaper, and well I guess a lot of people did read about it in the newspaper, and hear it on the news. I didn’t. I went to pick my husband up from work after having a wonderful day out with friends. It just happened to be the first time I had ever taken him to work. I went to pick him up and my life was changed forever. One moment I was waiting for Jason to walk out with his big smile the next moment I was been told that he was in critical condition in the hospital. How does some thing like this happen? Nothing has been the same since. The drive from Spring Hill to Middlemore Hospital was the longest one I have ever experienced. The kids were laughing and playing in the back, I was trying hard to be calm, and I didn’t want to freak them out. I have never spent so much time physically shaking as I have lately. Hearing the doctors use the words “injuries un-survivable” is something I hope no one I know ever has to experience. I broke down, I bawled, I said it can’t be true. But it was. I pulled myself together and wanted to see him … NOW. Nothing else mattered right then. Not the kids, or anything. I only had time for him. I spent the whole night holding his hand and whispering in his ear, kissing his forehead and stroking his hair. I told him I loved him, I knew he loved me, I didn’t want him to leave but he needed to do what was right for him. The next day I sat with him while they took out the breathing tubes and turned off the life support machine. I held his hand and watched his chest stop moving and his heart stop beating. I watched his life end. And at the same time I felt like mine had too. I still had no time for anyone but him. But there were many things that needed to be done. As soon as he was ready I sat with him again, and whispered in his ear and stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. I stayed until they had to take him away. It didn’t feel right leaving him with strangers. I don’t remember how many people I talked to and how many meetings I had. We saw police, corrections, funeral directors, and a lot of them became known on a first name basis. I saw both Jase and myself in the newspaper, on TV. It was surreal. Three weeks later it still is. Telling my kids that their Daddy was dead was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. After I saw Jase again at the funeral home he wasn’t the same. I still sat with him and stroked his hair and kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear every chance I got. There was a lot to do, arranging a hugely public funeral, discussing media arrangements, and waiting for American family. It was over a week when they finally put the lid on the casket. I felt like I wanted to be in there with him, I couldn’t believe I looked upon his face for the last time. And as soon as the lid was in place Abbey said, … “Daddy’s gone” It took a lot of restraint to not pull it off again. I was shaking through the entire funeral. How could this really be happening? At the crematorium it was quiet and personal. I kissed the coffin as they lowered it down and I cried. I don’t think I’ve cried so much in my life as I have over the last 3 weeks. Handing his ashes to his Mom at the airport was hard, a final farewell. I know that what is gone is only his vessel, but it’s still hard to let any part of him go. I have his heart and his soul and I feel him all around me. I see him when I look at our adorable children and I am so so thankful for them. It hasn’t become reality yet. I wake up in the night and am surprised when he isn’t there. I look out the window at 5.30pm expecting him to drive up home from work. His clothes are all still hanging in the closest and his shoes lined up on the floor. His toothbrush is still in the bathroom and his deodorant on his dresser. How do I move on from here? How do I continue to live when the person who I lived for is no longer around? I have to get up every morning and keep breathing. I have to be strong for our kids. I have to keep going. I have to live for Jase. Everyday gets harder, I have good hours and bad hours. I live one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. I will never forget my vows to you on our wedding day baby … or what we have engraved on our rings. alwaysforeverandeternity I love you now and until eternity. You will always hold the key to my heart xxxx

Friday Night ..

What a crazy busy few weeks I've had. Working full time is very tiring, so tiring I have had no energy to do anything. After the kids have gone to bed I have crashed on the couch or into bed either watching TV or reading. I have had no energy to craft what so ever. At the beginning of this week I was rather sick and as my hubby put it spent a night 'worshipping the porcilan God'! I have only managed to muster the energy to do the basics for my classes (not even finishing LOs!! Only embelishments!) And I feel pretty crap for that! But I am hoping now I am getting over being sick, and am starting to get somewhat used to working every day I might actually start getting time in to craft.

Good note ... I AM GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!
I have had a LO accepted in the NZ magazine Up2Scrap. It will be in the July/August Issue so watch out for that!!

I am going to be posting my Distress and Alcohol Ink classes on the Absolutely Crafty Scrapblog over the weekend so keep an eye out for those, even though I didn't get full LOs completed I have some pretty cool techniques going on (if I must say so myself teehee) and just so you actually believe me here are the two Distress Ink LOs I did get done!!

Bad naughty Blog neglector

Post coming tonight I PROMISE! Plus over at my class blog tutorials for both Distress and Alcohol inks! Stay tuned for more!!!

CRAZY Week

This week has been rather crazy!
Firstly .. I started back at work full-time this week - Monday-Friday 9am-3pm. There were a couple of mornings I REALLY wanted to call in sick but I fought my way through and made it through the whole week. I will be happier with myself once I get my first paycheck!!
The benefits of the job are ....
*Good Pay (we really need the extra money!)
*I can take Abbey with me (I'm a Pre-School teacher)
*They are letting me work school hours
The downfalls of the job are ...
*I have to go there instead of staying at home
*I am so tired I don't feel like crafting as much
Like I said, I'm looking forward to getting a motivational boost when my first paycheck comes in!
Secondly .. My Aunt and I dedcided to go to the local Craft Fair here that they have once a month. It was on today. I have been crazy crafting for it for the last week and I sold one thing. ONE thing, at least it paid for the charge of the table, but it was a little disheartening. I did get alot of interest in my items and a lady who is setting up a craft fair type thing asked if I would display my items there so that was a bonus. I have decided that this may be a good time to launch my Online Scrap Heap Store. I made the site a while ago but haven't advertised it, I guess now is the time so go check it out, buy my stuff (hehehe)
Thirdly .. My scrapbooking classes. Thankfully no-one booked into the crop this week so I didn't have to go out. Next Thursday is the next one so I have to get prepared for that. Because of the Craft Fair I haven't really prepared yet so this week will be mad preping for the Class!
Oh well I guess it's better than not having enough to do!

From Humble Beginnings ....

Last night at my Scrapbooking Class one of the ladies said Why don't my pages look as well put together as yours? My answer was How long have you been a scrapbooker?! Also on the TM Message board a similar topic is going around.
I have come a loooong way since I started scrapping 8yrs ago and it has taken alot of time of playing & experimenting to get to the place I am today.
EVERYONE starts off as a beginner and I don't want the begginner scrappers to feel over shadowed and intimadated by the more experienced. Scrapbooking is all about YOU not others and it's not a good idea to compare yourself with other scrapbookers. Somone who has being scrapping for 10mths is going to have alot less experience, knowledge and techniques than someone who has been doing it for 10yrs! If YOU like your LO who cares what it looks like! This is a recent learning curve for me, I scrap for me now, I don't scrap to try to please others. Getting nice comments etc is really uplifting but you really shouldn't be searching for that. Be happy with what you have done for YOU!
I wanted to show everyone my humble beginnings and talk breifly about how I became a scrapbooker. I challenge you other bloggers out there to do the same. My good friends Jennie & Kristine are going to as well so check out their blogs to see their first LOs too!

Almost 9yrs ago my Hubby Jason arrived in NZ for the first time. We met online and he traveled here to meet me (that is a long and different story for another time!) He used to be a US Marine and he bought with him a 'scrapbook' of Memorabilia from his time overseas during his Marine Tour. I fell in love with it (and him!) and I decided to do an album with things from our lives. I collected EVERYTHING! Movie tickets, resturant cards and reciepts, everything! and I put it together in an album.
Here are a few pages from that 'wonderful' (cough cough splutter) Album ....





A friend of my Brothers, Kerri, found out I was a 'scrapper' and asked me along to a 'Midnight Madness Crop' at our Local Scrapbook Store. This is where I was introduced to scrapbooking for real! Wow look at the papers, embelishments etc etc etc!! It wasn't until my Son was born that I started doing 'real' 12x12 scrapbooking. Here are some of my very first 12x12 LOs ....




My Son has just turned 5yrs old.
I have grown alot in my scrapping. I have learnt many things, and continue to learn. I don't want anyone to be discouraged or intimadated by more experienced scrapbookers work and just get involved in the fun and the reason why you started scrapbooking in the first place, because I'm sure it wasn't to show off to everyone and compete!
I hope to see lots more people sharing their works of art and encouraging the newbies to feel proud of their work!

3 Birdies 1 LO!

OK this LO has 3 purposes ....
TM Scrappers Weekly Challenge
Scrap Your Crap Challenge
Class LO with Acetate

Ahhhhhh nice to have it done!



I used MME Papers, Kaiser Rubons, Heidi Grace Alphas, buttons, embroidery floss and acetate. I also tried a little home-made rubon technique with the quote 'a mother's treasure is her daughter', check my class blog after Thursday for how I did those!
The photos were taken at my friend Katrina's wedding, it was Abbey's first time as a wedding guest!
And another LO with no purpose except my pleasure and it's about time I scrapped them since it was THREE Christmases ago!


I used Heidi Grace papers, chipboard shapes, plastic flowers, alphas & ribbon, kaiser rubons, brads and a Basic Grey magnetic tie back.
I just LOVE these pics of Abbey, Santa and Mrs Claus. They were taken at the Kindercare Christmas Party at Abbey's first Christmas. I just thought that the outfit she was wearing made her look like Baby Claus! Too cute!

Too busy to blog!

Sorry that this promise of blogging more often is continuiously getting broken!
I have been a busy busy scrapper preparing for my next Scrapbooking Class at Absolutely Crafty, I have also been working on a class blog. So now I am a double blogger!
So here is a little sneak peek at what I have been busy working on .... ACETATE





I have one LO to share with you ...


The photo was taken at Kindercare where Abbey got to join Riley in his classroom for his 4th Birthday cake.
This LO was for TM Scrappers Challenge. We had to take the first 5 letters of our surname and use those letters to use elements on our page.
Here's what I did ...
P - patterned paper
A - alphas
L - lace
M - metal frame
E - eyelets & epoxy brads

Before ... During ... After ...

As promised the Craft Room Pics ....
BEFORE >>>




DURING (as I was saying "OMG What was I thinking!") >>>




And AFTER >>>





I am VERY Happy with the end results! Also that it didn't take 10 hours to finish (I really thought I'd be working on until the wee hours of the morning!)

Inspiration

We all have people in the world of scrapbooking that we admire, aspire to be more like etc etc. Since becoming a Fiskateer and being welcomed into the Fiskateers by May Flaum I have followed her blog and marvelled at her creations. Just recently May was a guest blogger for Ali Edwards and the words she wrote really rang true to me. "Scrap for yourself" and that is what it's all about really. Thankyou May for inspiring me and making me remember why I scrap. It's not about getting published or getting the most comments in your gallery, it's all about scrapping your memories and how much YOU love it yourself!

On another note ... I totally rearranged my Craft Room last night. It was a task that half way through I thought 'OMG what have I done!" But now it's finished I am glad!!! I'll post before, during and after pics later on :)