Wednesday, May 29, 2013

At Long Last

Life is so busy.

Blogging has been neglected.

I plan to remedy this.

How about right now?!

I have much to blog about. I want to tell you about our holiday away to Christchurch and Hastings. I want to talk about my house renovations. I want to tell you about the craft show I took the shop to.

Today I will start with a simple post. A simple post about some love I received. It was VERY unexpected love. It came at a great time. It made my month.

I got home one day last week to a package at my door. I had had Hubbys Death Anniversary just pass.  We were dealing with a bit of a family crisis in my extended family. The package was timed perfectly.

The Sisterhood. I had heard of them, but knew nothing much about them. So I did a bit of research. I was most humbled with this beautiful gift of love. To whomever nominated me thank you, so very much.

Go check The Sisterhood out!

Join in with the love giving. I certainly will be!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Sisterhood!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Year 3

When it Happened
Year 1
Year 2

3 Years.

So much has happened.

I own a house, I have a shop. The kids have grown. We are a family of 3.

We still talk about you EVERYDAY.  The empty seat at the table and the passenger seat in the car are "Daddy's Seats".  We discuss how proud you would be of us, our achievements. We talk about what you would have done in that situation. We talk about the things you achieved, how proud we are of you. We talk about how much we love and miss you. We cherish the things we have that remind us of you. We often look at photos and laugh and remember the fun family times we had.

We carry on without you.

I wear a mask, I hide, I act. I cry, I yell, I get angry, I weep. I have nightmares. I have insomnia. I'm on antidepressants. My heart aches everyday. I hurt. I'm lonely, I'm scared. I am still grieving.

I'm strong, I'm independent, I'm brave. I am surviving, I am living, I am moving forward.

I love you, I miss you, I need you.

I am going to be ok.

Today I will sit in your memorial garden and reflect. I will lay flowers in the garden, 8 orange gerberas.  8 for the wonderful 8 years we had together, orange so you know they are from me, gerberas because they were our wedding flowers. I will wish that you are here. I will probably cry. I will think about how different things would have been had you not died. I will wonder at where we would have been. I will grieve for the life we should have had.

Tomorrow I will carry on. I will visit friends. We will laugh we will have fun. We will go about our day. I will still think of you. But I won't stop living. And I do it for you. For you I keep on keeping on. I will never forget when you were in America and I cried and sobbed and said it was too hard without you here. You said to me "Be strong for me baby, and look after our babies" so I do. I am strong for you baby, and I look after our babies, even though they aren't babies anymore. I will do that for you, everyday.

3 Years.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Day 30 - A Photo Of Yourself Today + 3 Good Things that Have Happened in the Last 30 Days

I forgot that today was a photo taking day!! So as we sit in my bed watching TV after our baths, wearing our PJs I have taken a pic.

#1 - Holiday

We just got back this week from a two week holiday. I will do a proper post about this but it was definitely the best good thing that has happened in the last 30 days! Seeing my mates Nicola and Jennie and hanging out with them and their families was epic!

#2 - Attending my First ANAZC Day Dawn Parade

I have always wanted to go to one but never managed to drag myself out of bed to do so. But since Riley is now a Cub Scout and Abbey is a Pippin I figured it was time to make the effort. Had we been in Whangarei on ANZAC day they both would have joined their clubs in the parade so I thought we'd go while we were in Hastings instead. It was very emotional and amazing. I am really glad I went and will definitely be going again

#3 - House Renovations

I am gunning ahead with making this house MY house. Riley's bedroom is almost ready for painting and I have been talking to builders about a new bathroom and a few other things around the house (Library!!!) It's scary and exciting all at the same time! I am hoping to get carpet in the kids rooms and playroom before the weather gets too cold too. Lots of plans!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

30 Day Challenge

Uh Oh!!!! I am a few days behind ... so here is my catch up .....

Day 27 - What Kind of Person Attracts You

Nice ones! I like people who are genuine. People who can laugh. People who I can be a dork around and know they aren't going to judge me. I like crafty people. I like people who aren't self-absorbed. I like people who listen.

I am so lucky to have lots of friends like this!

Day 28 - This Past Month What Have You Learned

I have learnt that I need to give myself more credit for what I achieve. I have learnt that I am VERY lucky because I have an AMAZING network of friends. I have learnt that I need to try harder to be motivated. I have learnt that if I don't do things myself no one else is going to do them for me. I have learnt that although I have lost so much I still have so much to live for.

Day 29 - Something You Could Never Get Tired of Doing

But more seriously ...
Crafting. Doesn't matter what kind. Scrapbooking, altered art, making things for the house or the kids. I love it. I love making things. I get tired of doing a certain kind of craft and move onto another. I just love making stuff!

Last day of my 30 days tomorrow!!!
I promise for it to be a better one than these last minute lazy catch ups!!!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

30 Day Challenge

Day 26 - A Photo Of Somewhere You Want To Go

Grafton National Cemetery, West Virginia, United States of America

Weird place to want to visit?
But that is where my husband was laid to rest. I haven't been there yet. I need to go. I need to see where he is. I need to put flowers at his grave site and weep. I need to do this. So here is where I want to go.